im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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