please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
