So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
