I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
