We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
