Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
