i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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