Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
