i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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