Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize