and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
