I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
