How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize