Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He passed out mid-signature
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
