well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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