My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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