He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
