My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
BRING THE BAGELS
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
