U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
