He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
