you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Randomize
