she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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