this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize