sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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