shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
