yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i think my cat just said my name.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
