Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
