Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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