I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm having to shit out rocks
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