So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
