Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize