idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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