he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
