I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
