Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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