I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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