these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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