So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
