I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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