ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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