Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
