I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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