hotel room ftw
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
