Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
