guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
