Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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