Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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