Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
