I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
