Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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