I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
