Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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