The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize