low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize