Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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